In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic return of TikTok and how it destroyed his teeth, why grade school teachers in New Jersey need to be put on watch, and why having a wet dream during No Nut November doesn't actually count.

In this episode, Bernard mourns the loss of his favorite social media platform, explains why Greenlanders need to work on their curves before we should even consider invading them and tries to figure out what the heck house music is.

In this episode, Matt talks about why it may be ok to take advantage of your horny boss, how doing Ayahuasca in the woods can ruin your vacation and why people who go to Jazz bars need to grow up and live a little.

In this episode, Matt talks about spending New Year's Eve with his loved ones (strippers), why getting a BBL is the most important decision of your life, and why having a panic attack during a class presentation does not spell the end of your p...

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he enjoys being touched by his doctor, why a crappy drone from Amazon is the best Christmas present you can get and why the love of his life is just one more dating app swipe away.

In this episode, Matt talks about the return of christ (aka the McDonalds crispy chicken ranch snack wrap), why everyone- including Sydney Sweeney- has a lumpy body, and why it may be ok to give your local mega church all of your hard earned mo...

In this episode, Matt talks about his new life as a 26 year old man living in a 90 year old mans body, how Luigi Mangione could have been him in another universe and why having sex with a thousand people in 24 hours is just another day on the j...

In this episode, Matt and guest Michael Lipari talk about the damage done to their brains by asthma medication, why you should never trust food at a potluck and why the best funerals are held out on the open ocean

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic downfall of the Hershey chocolate company, why you should make sure you're watching the correct Wicked movie and why Asian Americans just can't stay away from a good 5 star rated restaurant.

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of jumping out of a luxury apartment building, why beauty pageants were definitely created by creepy old guys and why a pot to piss in can be full of piss already that that's perfectly ok.

In this episode, Matt talks about his luscious new mullet, why you should stop believing 20 year old country singers are hopeless romantics, and why you need to be more careful when booking an elderly magician for a halloween party.

In this episode, Matt talks about America taking back its broke ex boyfriend, why Martha Stewart is the most dangerous woman in the world, and why he's never going to slide into a woman's DMs ever again.

In this episode, Matt talks about the beautiful life of a rat in New York City, why every country thinks their men are pieces of garbage and how he's missed out on finding his wife because he refuses to give out compliments.

In this episode, Matt talks about his love for pregnant women at the gym, how good he is at fixing toilets and why robots need to take over so he doesn't have to marry someone dumb as bricks.

In this episode, Matt talks about his expertise in building grandmas house snail enclosures, why parents need to feed one of their twins more food and his failed dream of becoming a Pokemon (card) master.

In this episode, Matt talks about his addiction to taking girls on dates to chain restaurants, why the New York Mets are going to win the 2024 World Series and why the gay allegations against him make some kind of sense.

In this episode, Matt talks about the awful food they make at resorts in the Dominican Republic, why being a paparazzo is the lamest job on earth and why you should definitely stab your hand with a pencil.

In this episode, Matt talks about getting poison ivy on his Johnson, why Eminem needs to be a rat every once in a while, and the reason he knows nothing about New York pizza.

In this episode, Matt talks about the wasps taking over his parents house, why Tupperware and grade school teachers deserve a special place in hell, and why he's addicted to shoving tiny strings between his teeth.

In this episode, Matt talks about why ducks need to learn some respect, the part of his body that would be most delicious, and how he may have been the biggest snitch in middle school. 

In this episode, Matt talks about slathering himself in ocean juices on a Long Island pier, the kinds of confidential documents he would steal as President and why he doesn't know what anyone's eye color is.

In this episode, Matt talks about his dream of becoming a mini golf tycoon, why everyone at the gym is annoying and how you should spend your money as a billionaire tech CEO.

In this episode, Matt talks about enjoying a bowl of manatee stew, kids making deadly weapons out of paper and how poutine can fill the cracks in your soul.

In this episode, Matt talks about his near death experience in a McDonalds bathroom, taking ice cold showers at Boy Scout camp and how every airline pilot needs to have a southern accent.

In this episode, Matt Lipari talks about how much rich people love killing things, how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles make great house cats and how he yearns to see violence on the subway.