In this episode, Matt talks about the (exaggerated) horrors of dating in New York City, why being a professional athlete and dating 7 women at once is a gentlemanly thing to do, and why the MAGA dentist may need to find new ways to torture libe...

In this episode, Matt talks about his lesbian spy kids cruise vacation, how he single handedly fought off the rapture and saved your soul and why we should all just give up and watch Tilly Norwood movies.

In this episode, Matt talks about the inevitable demise of society as we know it, why it's better for your health to sit on your couch and not run around like a fool, and why making your small children pay for their communist vacations is loser...

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of stealing small objects from children, does some investigative work into why hot women keep appearing in the New York Post, and makes fun of guys who post lame videos with inspirational quotes.

In this episode, Matt talks about gay men who like bugs, the exciting extracurricular activities that go on at Burning Man, and why buying Pokemon cards with company money is a really good idea.

In this episode, Matt talks about his growing army of Tanzanian children, how Benson Boone is secretly pulling the strings of Americas favorite cookie chain, and why 600 thousand Chinese students should be forced to go to Southern New Hampshire...

In this episode, Matt describes the joy of watching crabs slowly meet their end, talks about his amazing contributions to the African Chocolate Society and makes up an entire story about why gay marriage is on the chopping block.

In this episode, Matt talks about his near death scare with the Vegan community, why trying to provide for your family in Japan is shameful and why we should all be moving to Russia to fight on the front lines.

In this episode, Matt solves the school shooter crisis (more guns), talks about his expert hacking of the Tea app, and wonders why no one else has thrown their hat into the ring of the highly competitive Japanese baking song frenzy.

In this episode, Matt celebrates the 1 year anniversary of Meat Sangria! He also talks about why the person who estimates fossil prices needs to be fired and why biting people at your job is probably not a good idea (even if you're hungry).

In this episode, Matt talks about how good it must feel to beat the living hell out of a garbage can, why stealing salads probably isn't a good way to find your husband, and how amazing Donald Trump is at writing heartfelt letters to his friend...

In this episode, Matt talks about the latest and greatest in Air Conditioning technology, why he's an expert on winning friends and influencing people and why the Epstein list may contain some shocking names (the Easter Bunny is going away for ...

In this episode, Matt talks about his weak, spineless immune system, his experience as the flower girl at Jeff Bezos' wedding and why the most dangerous person in your neighborhood may be a 10 year old girl. 

In this episode, Matt talks about surviving the hellish heat wave, what to do if you fall into an active volcano and how he plans on personally creating peace in the Middle East.

In this episode, Matt talks about bumblebee mind control, why he's finally ready to ditch Verizon for Trump Mobile and why grown men buying Labubu's should be treated like child predators. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his moldy diseased air conditioner, why the sanctity of porn is being destroyed by an ambitious blonde lady and why eating microplastics might make you better in bed. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the loss of an American hero, his evil plan to take over the world via bees and the time he convinced a middle schooler that he was getting some action on a park bench.

In this episode, Matt talks about confronting his future ex-wife at an open mic, why you should be spending at least 10 million dollars on your high school prom, and why you should never let a Turkish doctor touch more than your hair. 

In this episode, Matt talks about shitting your pants and lighting yourself on fire at an open mic, why fat people shouldn't be allowed to lose weight and why swiping on Tinder a thousand times a day while looking like Shrek is probably not a g...

In this episode, Matt talks about how hard it is to get rid of an opened box of tampons, why Fox News hosts need a special infusion of liquids to stay sane and why you can't release music on TikTok when everyone knows you as the goofy pizza guy...

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he loves Spectrum, how much he doesn't want to blow up the Spectrum headquarters and how the CEO of Spectrum should be given a giant trophy and an increase in his yearly salary for the amazing company ...

In this episode, Matt talks about how many dogs he injures on his daily walk around his neighborhood, why 100 men can in fact beat 1 gorilla if they arouse it enough, and why you need to touch cookies in their No No Square to know if they're wo...

In this episode, Matt talks about how Asian people in New York don't know how to clean crawfish, how disgusting and geriatric he has become at the ripe old age of 27, and why hot girls need to stop traveling and get a real job so that ugly guys...

In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.