In this episode, Matt talks about surviving the hellish heat wave, what to do if you fall into an active volcano and how he plans on personally creating peace in the Middle East.

In this episode, Matt talks about bumblebee mind control, why he's finally ready to ditch Verizon for Trump Mobile and why grown men buying Labubu's should be treated like child predators. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his moldy diseased air conditioner, why the sanctity of porn is being destroyed by an ambitious blonde lady and why eating microplastics might make you better in bed. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the loss of an American hero, his evil plan to take over the world via bees and the time he convinced a middle schooler that he was getting some action on a park bench.

In this episode, Matt talks about confronting his future ex-wife at an open mic, why you should be spending at least 10 million dollars on your high school prom, and why you should never let a Turkish doctor touch more than your hair. 

In this episode, Matt talks about shitting your pants and lighting yourself on fire at an open mic, why fat people shouldn't be allowed to lose weight and why swiping on Tinder a thousand times a day while looking like Shrek is probably not a g...

In this episode, Matt talks about how hard it is to get rid of an opened box of tampons, why Fox News hosts need a special infusion of liquids to stay sane and why you can't release music on TikTok when everyone knows you as the goofy pizza guy...

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he loves Spectrum, how much he doesn't want to blow up the Spectrum headquarters and how the CEO of Spectrum should be given a giant trophy and an increase in his yearly salary for the amazing company ...

In this episode, Matt talks about how many dogs he injures on his daily walk around his neighborhood, why 100 men can in fact beat 1 gorilla if they arouse it enough, and why you need to touch cookies in their No No Square to know if they're wo...

In this episode, Matt talks about how Asian people in New York don't know how to clean crawfish, how disgusting and geriatric he has become at the ripe old age of 27, and why hot girls need to stop traveling and get a real job so that ugly guys...

In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.

In this episode, Matt and his brother talk about their favorite racist statues, why you probably shouldn't go see a comedy show with a homeless person, and why peeing in the shower is the best way to wind yourself down after a long day.

In this episode, Matt and Frankie Dragotto talk about how they escaped the Cutco knife pyramid scheme, how bad ChatGPT is at coming up with good molestation jokes and how they plan on hunting down and destroying all of their haters. Also Matt w...

In this episode, Matt talks about the stress and strain of playing 11 women at once, why doing poppers on a date is kind of gay and why you should never go to a poorly organized party in eastern Europe.

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of traveling to New Jersey via public transportation, why you can't punish your kids by sitting on them (even if you're on Ozempic) and why every influencer on Earth is making a killing except for t...

In this episode, Matt talks about his fear of roller coasters and meat jello, how finding a Cheeto shaped like a cartoon character could make you a very rich man, and why AI art is actually kind of cool if you twist your mind and think about it...

In this episode, Matt talks about the demise and recovery of his favorite bald headed holy man, why you should invest in BLENDED BUTTERFLY coin, and how AMC theaters somehow bamboozled the public into thinking they lost their class action lawsu...

In this episode, Matt makes fun of the "Sexiest Man Alive" for having a stupid looking thumb (what a loser), why he has yet to receive an invitation to the Bop House and why hair color can instantly change how attractive someone is (hello Sabri...

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of going to Trader Joes on a Sunday, why a nude cruise is probably not as fun as it sounds and why meat head men are never going to be happy with your gym progress.

In this episode, Matt talks about vampires who may be pedophiles who may also be United States presidents, how he almost lost the most beloved thing in his life, and his quest for a 7 foot tall wife. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the secret love life of Barack Obama, why cleaning your iPhone charging port is the best decision you'll ever make, and why every swimming pool should have a designated section where you can relieve yourself.

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic return of TikTok and how it destroyed his teeth, why grade school teachers in New Jersey need to be put on watch, and why having a wet dream during No Nut November doesn't actually count.

In this episode, Bernard mourns the loss of his favorite social media platform, explains why Greenlanders need to work on their curves before we should even consider invading them and tries to figure out what the heck house music is.

In this episode, Matt talks about why it may be ok to take advantage of your horny boss, how doing Ayahuasca in the woods can ruin your vacation and why people who go to Jazz bars need to grow up and live a little.