In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care. 

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.

In this episode, Matt and his brother talk about their favorite racist statues, why you probably shouldn't go see a comedy show with a homeless person, and why peeing in the shower is the best way to wind yourself down after a long day.

In this episode, Matt and Frankie Dragotto talk about how they escaped the Cutco knife pyramid scheme, how bad ChatGPT is at coming up with good molestation jokes and how they plan on hunting down and destroying all of their haters. Also Matt w...

In this episode, Matt talks about the stress and strain of playing 11 women at once, why doing poppers on a date is kind of gay and why you should never go to a poorly organized party in eastern Europe.

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of traveling to New Jersey via public transportation, why you can't punish your kids by sitting on them (even if you're on Ozempic) and why every influencer on Earth is making a killing except for t...

In this episode, Matt talks about his fear of roller coasters and meat jello, how finding a Cheeto shaped like a cartoon character could make you a very rich man, and why AI art is actually kind of cool if you twist your mind and think about it...

In this episode, Matt talks about the demise and recovery of his favorite bald headed holy man, why you should invest in BLENDED BUTTERFLY coin, and how AMC theaters somehow bamboozled the public into thinking they lost their class action lawsu...

In this episode, Matt makes fun of the "Sexiest Man Alive" for having a stupid looking thumb (what a loser), why he has yet to receive an invitation to the Bop House and why hair color can instantly change how attractive someone is (hello Sabri...

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of going to Trader Joes on a Sunday, why a nude cruise is probably not as fun as it sounds and why meat head men are never going to be happy with your gym progress.

In this episode, Matt talks about vampires who may be pedophiles who may also be United States presidents, how he almost lost the most beloved thing in his life, and his quest for a 7 foot tall wife. 

In this episode, Matt talks about the secret love life of Barack Obama, why cleaning your iPhone charging port is the best decision you'll ever make, and why every swimming pool should have a designated section where you can relieve yourself.

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic return of TikTok and how it destroyed his teeth, why grade school teachers in New Jersey need to be put on watch, and why having a wet dream during No Nut November doesn't actually count.

In this episode, Bernard mourns the loss of his favorite social media platform, explains why Greenlanders need to work on their curves before we should even consider invading them and tries to figure out what the heck house music is.

In this episode, Matt talks about why it may be ok to take advantage of your horny boss, how doing Ayahuasca in the woods can ruin your vacation and why people who go to Jazz bars need to grow up and live a little.

In this episode, Matt talks about spending New Year's Eve with his loved ones (strippers), why getting a BBL is the most important decision of your life, and why having a panic attack during a class presentation does not spell the end of your p...

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he enjoys being touched by his doctor, why a crappy drone from Amazon is the best Christmas present you can get and why the love of his life is just one more dating app swipe away.

In this episode, Matt talks about the return of christ (aka the McDonalds crispy chicken ranch snack wrap), why everyone- including Sydney Sweeney- has a lumpy body, and why it may be ok to give your local mega church all of your hard earned mo...

In this episode, Matt talks about his new life as a 26 year old man living in a 90 year old mans body, how Luigi Mangione could have been him in another universe and why having sex with a thousand people in 24 hours is just another day on the j...

In this episode, Matt and guest Michael Lipari talk about the damage done to their brains by asthma medication, why you should never trust food at a potluck and why the best funerals are held out on the open ocean

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic downfall of the Hershey chocolate company, why you should make sure you're watching the correct Wicked movie and why Asian Americans just can't stay away from a good 5 star rated restaurant.

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of jumping out of a luxury apartment building, why beauty pageants were definitely created by creepy old guys and why a pot to piss in can be full of piss already that that's perfectly ok.

In this episode, Matt talks about his luscious new mullet, why you should stop believing 20 year old country singers are hopeless romantics, and why you need to be more careful when booking an elderly magician for a halloween party.

In this episode, Matt talks about America taking back its broke ex boyfriend, why Martha Stewart is the most dangerous woman in the world, and why he's never going to slide into a woman's DMs ever again.

In this episode, Matt talks about the beautiful life of a rat in New York City, why every country thinks their men are pieces of garbage and how he's missed out on finding his wife because he refuses to give out compliments.